I'm Confused...

...but not as confused as the old lady at my local polling place. I spoke my name clearly when she asked it, but she didn't understand. I spoke it slower and more clearly the 2nd time she asked, but still no dice.

She was getting agitated. I understand. I've been known to agitate people. No biggie, I figured, lots of folks have hearing issues. I handed her my driver's license that clearly spells out my name. She couldn't read it.

If she was only deaf or blind, it would have been no problem. But why was Helen Keller put in charge of the sign-in? They couldn't have given that job to the younger guy seated to her left who handed me my ballot?

And does she follow me to wherever I move? She was the polling lady in my parents' neighborhood. I was surprised to see her at my polling place in College Hill the past couple years too. And now she's in Price Hill. Maybe she's omnipresent. She should get better at it, though, as back in November, I was the one who had to teach her about the wonders of a provisional ballot...

These are the things that keep me awake at night. Thoughts of how every polling location I've ever been to has been manned by the deaf blind lady. Aren't you glad you don't have my mind?

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[Well, that was a nice little exit ramp... back to my original purpose...]

I'm confused. I've been hearing an awful lot of talk about voting for this guy... I think his name is Change. So, I took my ballot and looked for his name, but I couldn't find him. I dug down in the deep ugly crevices of my brain and remembered this other guy named Hope. But he wasn't on the ballot either. All I kept hearing was YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

Man. I'm bummed. I wanted to be a part of history, but I couldn't find a mythical savior to vote for.