I have a desire for tradition. I want to know more about the Jewish feasts and customs. I want to understand the history of my faith. So, it can be frustrating at times to be at a church that will lump all of Holy Week into one single 30-minute message this Sunday morning.
Last night, Levon and I were talking... it was pushing midnight, and our alarm clocks were set for 4:30am. But where was the Christ a couple thousand years ago? According to Luke 22, by this time, Jesus had consumed his last meal. I was going to get a few hours of sleep before waking up to pray the steps, but Jesus wasn't going to get another wink before his death.
While Levon and I had our little chat to get our heads focused on what was happening, Christ was being betrayed. His disciples were falling asleep instead of faithfully keeping vigil. Peter had just boldly proclaimed that he was ready to follow Christ to prison and to death, and yet was just about to deny three times that he was a disciple.
Humbling, really, to think about how it all went down. Reading the words on the pages of the Big Book doesn't do it justice. I need to place myself in the story. How many times do I say that I'm willing to live and die for my God, only to deny Him by my actions three times before the day is through? How many times have I been willing to betray my God for money or the temporary trappings of this world? How many times have I been unwilling to pray, even when fully aware that the stakes are high and I belong on my knees?
I refuse to deify the mother, so there were no Hail Marys as I prayed this morning. But there was an awful lot of honest communication with God:- "You are perfect, Christ, You don't deserve what You are about to face."
- "The torture and the nails should be inflicted on my body, not Yours."
- "Be strong, my Savior, for great glory will come from what You are about to endure."
- "This is the punishment for my imperfection. Reveal to me how filthy I am."
- "If I truly hated my sin, what would I look like? How would I live differently?"
3 comments:
Where'd you get the misconception that Catholic's deify Mary!? (or any saint for that matter). Tain't so; never was; never will be.
Scott,
I love what you said in "If i hated my sin, how would my life be different?" I have been thinking about that alot. In my everyday life, i don't need Jesus. I can manage without Him, mostly because I justify sin very well, and because i don't take risks and thus rely on Him. I'm too comfortable, God help me change. I'm glad to know your fighting the same fight, i will pray for you, please pray for me.
Thanks for this thought-provoking series of posts. We went to the steps for the first time two years ago. Missed this time, but I hope to make it back again next year.
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