My Church Music Thoughts (part 1)

I wish I could remember exactly how my "Worship Leader" career began. I know it wasn't anything I actively sought. I'm not one to desire the spotlight. I don't enjoy performing on a stage.

I sang in a band in high school mainly because no one else did. Sure, I'll give it a try. (Same reason I learned how to play guitar. No one else at Young Life played. Sure, why not, I'll learn it...) And I've been singing (and playing guitar) ever since.

If I remember correctly, at one point about 7 years ago, I went to the pastor of my previous church and told him that the music was lame and irrelevant. Maybe not in so many words, but that's at least what I was thinking when I said whatever it was that I said. A few months later, I was leading music at that church. I didn't seek the job, but I wasn't opposed to it, either.

There was some initial excitement as the program was at least partially transformed into something better than what it was. There was some satisfaction in the predictability of what was expected of me and the consistency of "playout" every Sunday morning after years of having to book shows at various locations. And it was good to feel like I was picking better songs to worship along with than what the congregation was used to. (There were some rough ones... I still cringe at the thought of a few of them...)

Two years later I left that church, right before getting married. Robyn and I needed to find a church together, instead of just blending my new family into the church I was at. I needed out for a variety of reasons, plus she wasn't a big fan of the place, so off we went. I found that I didn't miss leading music. There were times I missed playing, but not leading.

After 8 months of marriage, after 8 months of going to a different church almost every Sunday, after 8 months of not finding a church that we liked, we were pretty discouraged. We didn't want to attend a megachurch, as we both prefer smaller, more intimate gatherings. Almost all of the churches we tried were either painful or not our style.

Within that 8 months, we found a church that had solid preaching and solid music and solid people. It wasn't far from home, and we were encouraged there. We went 6 weeks in a row and had the pastor over for an evening chat. We were so excited! But upon meeting the pastor and hearing some of the stuff he believed (theologically), we realized that it wasn't going to work out... and the frustration continued...

I needed to be in a church where the music didn't totally suck. It didn't have to be Crossroads or Vineyard quality, but it needed to be better than... well... better than crappy. My ears just can't take it when it's sonically awful. I'm all about making a joyful noise, but... yeah. You know.

During those 8 months of church shopping, I filled in for my buddy Tye probably 6 or 7 times at the church he was leading at. (He led worship on Sundays, but was a punk rock drummer and frequently on the road.) I liked that church, and it was a match with many of our desires for a church. Not a perfect match, but a solid place that we liked.

Then the phone call came. That church wanted me to replace Tye, as he was resigning. We really liked the place, but there were multiple reasons this was a tough decision:

(1) It didn't fit our qualification of being in our community.
(2) Robyn's family was there, and she and I were still in our "establishing our independence" state of marriage.
(3) I had no desire to be in charge of a music ministry again. Been there, done that, no desire to go back.
(4) Even if I wanted to go back to leading, following Tye wouldn't be the way I wanted to go. It would be like being the act following Mitch Hedberg at a comedy club.

It would have been an easy church to call home if we lived closer to it, if Robyn's family not been there, and if Tye continued to lead there. I'd gladly be in his band any day!

We prayed about it. Ultimately, we decided that 8 months was long enough to be without a church. Since we still hadn't found a place that fit all of our qualifications, we'd walk through the door that had been opened for us. Of course, this meant I was going to be leading a ministry again.

Enough for now, I'll continue this later... (part 2)