"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I've got one thing to say to that:
"Poppycock".
Children are taught this cliche from a young age. Of course, those who teach said lesson are well-meaning, hoping in a simple way to teach the young that there will be mean people in the world who will delight in hurting their feelings. I get it. There are times that we must simply dismiss the immature words of the immature bullies, knowing that their statements don't hold water.
The intentions of those who teach the Sticks-n-Stones lesson are probably good, but it doesn't change the fact that it's such a lie. The truth is, I'd love to hop in Doc's Delorian, set the timer for 30 seconds before some hurtful things were said to me, and kindly request that the speaker refrain from saying the painful words.
"Ummm, excuse me, sir, I was wondering if, instead of saying what you are about to say, you could just punch me in the face repeatedly until I'm knocked unconscious. Please."
I know how much words can sting. I've been there as both an offender and a victim. I don't wish that sting on my worst enemies (which must make me a gentler personality than David*, but that's beside the point altogether).
I say all of this with one main intention- to express that I will never say/write anything to intentionally hurt anyone. Granted, I'm no stranger to controversy. I'm not afraid to stir the pot. But my intention will never be to do harm.
Oh how exhausted am I that feelings are hurt because of something I said on the freaking internet! How tired I am of the drama of the blogosphere. But I know that the sting of hurtful words runs deep and fades slowly, so I'm sensitive to the fact that any of my words have caused pain. In fact, it breaks me to know that I have inflicted pain.
So, still, I continue to wonder whether I should continue this or not. I maintain the right to take it private. I maintain the right to go invite-only. I maintain the right to blow the whole thing up. I maintain the right to shut off comments when I quite honestly don't want to hear what anyone has to say about something I said. And if I do turn off comments for a thread, you can just email or call. You know how to find me.
I don't want to hurt people. And at the same time, I want to say "screw it, it's just the internet..." but the whole Sticks-n-Stones thing keeps me from going there. But I'm sick of the drama. Really. Just tired of it.
*note: The Contemporary English Version of the Bible is always fun. Seriously, pick an interesting passage in the NIV or NASB, then read the CEV. If not enlightening, it's at least comedic.
1 comment:
this topic is funny to me, especially the thrust of it from your perspective: you, scott duebber, piss people off.
i mean, you're such a compassionate girly-man (meant in only the nicest of ways, no lie - i'm not trying to piss anyone off here) that it surprises me that anyone could think you were trying to offend someone.
and really, people need to toughen up a bit. opinions are like buttholes - everyone's got one. that some of us choose to share them in such an accessible public forum is a byproduct of the new global society. it's only going to get worse (if you think it's a bad thing).
my vote? duebs, i like your blog. i enjoy reading it (even the inane baseball BS). i respect your opinions even when i don't agree with or understand them.
and for the folks who get their panties in a twist? pbbbthhh! jog on.
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