Depressed

I think I am. These depressed mini-seasons seem to happen a couple times per year, and right now is one of them.

The reasons are plentiful. The baby who died in the minivan over at CCU. My daughter does little more than scream when in my arms. Some less than pleasant memories from my past have recently been stirred up. A few stressful/frustrating things have happened at work. Some general family/household stress from all this transition of Aimee being born, the rest of us adjusting, and Levon getting ready to move out.

But the main reason is that I'm feeling pretty lonely. All the craziness in life pushes me to run to my wife, the closest person to my heart. But that doesn't help... in fact, it only exacerbates the problem, as her time and energy is intensely focused on a 4-week-old that needs her Mama. So, refuge in the wifey ain't happenin'.

And I miss my out-of-town friends. Friendships that take years (and in some cases a lifetime) to build cannot easily be replicated. Times like these are the times I lean heaviest on those friends. And they're across the country, and phone calls just aren't good enough.

So, here I sit, wallowing in whatever this muck is called, hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. Not that today is bad. I have a strong marriage, two beautiful children (1 of whom cracks me up constantly), some amazing friends, a couple great church congregations, a roof over my head, health, financial security... today is not bad. It just doesn't feel as good as it should.