Bachelor Party Spirituality

A friend recently wrote about how he doesn't see himself as a child anymore. One day, last month, he suddenly realized that he is a responsible adult. He awoke to find himself "on the same playing field" as all of his friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. I've been having similar experiences lately.

There are a handful of men that I respect as leaders. I view them as being on a different level. Not just on a different level right now, but on a level that I will never reach. They are pastors, they are intellectuals, they are men of integrity, they are men of passion, they are men of prayer. And I am none of those things. I want to be those things, but am not, and don't believe I ever will be.

Then a strange thing happened. I started receiving unsolicited words of encouragement from these men. One of them said some very kind things about me. Then one of them started treating me in a different way... he started treating me as if we were peers, even though I had always looked at him as a mentor. One of them hired me to teach at his college. One of them told me that I'm becoming a leader.

When I was 14 years old and very young in my faith, I had this strange feeling that God was going to use me for something big. It was a vague feeling... I didn't have any idea what or when that supposed big thing might be, just that it was out there and was going to someday happen. Over the years, as I buried myself in disobedience and other unfortunate sinful attitudes, I began to doubt what I once thought was such a strong and certain prophecy. I started to believe that I was never going to amount to anything. I started to believe that I was going to wind up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river.

But now, the promise is alive again. The promise is alive because the Spirit of God is breathing life into me through these men. I once again believe strongly that God is going to do big things in my life.

My friend Ed is getting married next Saturday. Most men would probably prefer a traditional bachelor party where everyone drinks too much before ultimately singing karaoke at a gay bar. (This may or may not have happened at a bachelor party I planned. I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations.) Ed chose a more personal event with his closest friends at his house.

Ed has me in the age category by more than a decade, and the ages of the men present spanned from twentysomething to fortysomething. There was one man there, in particular, who I've always respected but never felt totally comfortable around. He's probably smarter than the smartest man you've ever met, and I get that vibe when I'm around him that I have no business talking to him. He's just on another level when it comes to intelligence, and ridiculously-intelligent people can be intimidating.

Long story shorter, we started talking. And talking. And talking. That conversation ended up lasting a really long time. Multiple hours. We talked about the Spirit of God and how It moves. We talked about visions and dreams and prophecy and where God is in them.

Then it went from theologically deep to personally deep. He shared lots of details about his personal and family life... details that I'm certain he doesn't share with many folks. He opened up to me as if... as if...

...as if I'm on his level.

I thought this guy was so far out of my league. I thought that a conversation with this guy would make my head explode in confusion. I thought this guy would be bored to tears at anything I might have to say. And then, suddenly, I awoke to find out that we're on the same plain, because we're both just mortal men who love Jesus and are trying to figure this life out.

God is moving. I'm scared. And I'm excited. And I'm not backing down. I'm not running away this time. I know this is a dangerous thing to say, but I'm in a dangerous mood and full of the confidence that comes with knowing my life is not my own. So, I'll say it: bring it on.

"Even though You're here, God... come."