Another Post About My Beloved Pimp Boat

Back in her glory days, when she was young, before she was defiled by the elements of city streets, winter weather, and distracted drivers, this lovely 1994 Park Avenue was quite the fine piece of machinery. She was quite the looker. And she still is fine, in my humble opinion... just not quite as fine-looking as she once was... but we all know it's what's on the inside that counts...

Regardless, just a couple short years ago, shining in her own glory in our College Hill driveway, this fine piece of machinery looked like this:While she hasn't aged quite as gracefully as she hoped she would, she's still beautiful to me. Maybe I should be nicer to her. Maybe I should splurge and offer her Botox and a massage. Or, perhaps more appropriate, I could make a reservation for her at Maaco. Or, more realisticly, maybe I should just get out the vacuum cleaner and suck up all the crumbs on her seats and floors. She's due for an oil change, as well, but that's more preventative maintenance than the soft whispers in her ear that she deserves.

If I had a garage, I'd keep her inside, protected from the elements. If I had a driveway, I'd keep her there, protected from the drunk bastards who troll the neighborhood streets, looking for a poor unsuspecting lady to destroy. But I have no garage or driveway. So, on the street she must remain.

I'm sorry, baby. I still love you. Please keep running for me. Please don't quit. I want you to meet my second child in a few months. And I'd really like you to make at least another road trip down to Carolina before you get to retire to the great junkyard in the sky (and/or are sold for scrap)... And know that you are appreciated. :-((Note: crushed Budweiser can near driver's door not mine.)