An Evening of Family Observations

I left work early yesterday so I could accompany (read: drive) my family to the doctor. Robyn thought Aimee must have an ear infection, based upon the way she's been fussing lately, and the doctor confirmed it, confirming to me that my wife is brilliantly educated and diligently observant of these children that God has entrusted to her care.

[I'm the one who gets frustrated and whispering "please, baby girl, just STOP crying..." She's the one who compassionately looks at the poor baby girl, trying to find the "why is this happening" so that the appropriate solution can best be applied. I'd be the one who lets the kid stay sick, out of ignorance. She's the one who gets the kid healthy ASAP, out of her devotion to care. She wins. She's captivating in many ways, her motherhood certainly included.]

As soon as Toby saw me, he gave a big, excited smile and shouted happily "WE GOING TO DOCTOR!" because he loves the doctor's office. And he loves his family, and we were going together. He was mostly a very good listener. The ride up was mostly uneventful, save the normal angst of taking 75 from the city to Sharon Road at evening rush. He peacefully listened to his Winnie The Pooh book on tape, commenting occasionally, mostly just soaking in all the old, proper English.

At the doctor's office, he washed his hands approximately a million times, always reciting the alphabet so as to have the proper amount of soapage. Then he sat in my lap and asked me to read to him. He said something brilliant to the doc that I was quite impressed with, although I can't remember what he stated.

We then headed to the mall and walked around. He got to play in the play area, and he got to ride in his stroller, and he got to be with his family. At one point, he ran from us. (He knows better.) He's fast. Quick, actually. And short, meaning he easily gets lost amongst racks of clothing and lines of shelves. We called out to him, and he excitedly eluded us. (He knows better.) We knew, mostly, where he was, but we hadn't yet caught him. (He knows better.)

When his Mommy found him, he gave her a slightly evil smile and asked "Are you going to spank my bottom?" It was a test, and the answer was yes. We don't run away from Mommy and Daddy. Toby could get lost or stolen. Mommy and Daddy get so scared when Toby runs away and we can't find him.

Then he and I shared a Subway sandwich at the park. He played on the playground and was just generally awesome with all the other kids he came in contact with. Then we walked around the lake, looking at ducks and the calm, pending dusk. He was photogenic, smiling, and much fun to be the father of. All was well.

Then he ran again. I knew exactly where he was, and he wasn't in any danger. But still, he had run away. Toby, come back here right now, or I WILL give you a SPANKING. He was going to be reprimanded even if he came back, but he thought his willingness to obey me after blatantly disobeying me would negate the punishment.

I grabbed him and took him aside, where there would be no distractions and he would have to see and hear me. I told him, sternly, how he must not run away. And he wailed and tears fell. And I held him. I love you so much, Tobe. You have no idea how much I love you. You'll never understand how much I love you. I love you. You can never be so bad that I'll stop loving you. I love you. Nothing you could ever do will make me love you any less. I love you, in his ears. Over and over. He stopped crying and went limp in my arms, as if he understood.

His return did negate the physical punishment. But there are still consequences for that disobedience. Now, instead of getting to listen to his book or music on the ride home, we would ride in silence. And he wailed, and tears fell. We can't listen to your book or music because you ran away. "BUT I NOT WANT TO RUN AWAY... I NOT WANT TO BE A BAD BOY..."

Eventually, he settled down. Later, he fell asleep. When we got home, I again had the pleasure of carrying my exhausted, sleeping son from the car to his room. He awoke just enough to stare at me. I figured he'd want to get up and play and read books and brush his teeth and et cetera. But he didn't. He just stared. And he wrapped his arms around me and re-fell asleep in my arms.

Sleep well, my son. Tomorrow is a new day, a day when you will have new mercies from your Daddy. We'll try again. Maybe we'll play some more. Maybe we'll go to the lake again... that'd be fun. I enjoy your company. I enjoy watching you grow. I enjoy you. I must discipline you, but it's because I love you so friggin much. But most of all, I just enjoy you.