More Mascot Goodness

(Editor's Note: I don't really have an editor... just wanted to say, right off the bat, that if you like mascots, this is the place to be. I think I've sufficiently researched this topic, and I hope you enjoy all the happy clicks that go along with this post.)

I continue to have much affection for mascots. Maybe it's their similarity to oversized Muppets. Maybe it's their cartoonish nature. Regardless, I'm a fan. I've always loved the Phillie Phanatic and its wonderful snout. The Mariner Moose is solid. And it doesn't get much better than the Milwaukee Sausage Quintet.

Some mascots, like Da Bull, seem to get in trouble with the law on a regular basis, which fascinates me. (Like Chris Henry, does the mascot wear its uniform while committing crimes? The answer is yes.) Plus, then that mascot and its criminal record obtain mascot street cred, which is a bonus to have in such a cutthroat occupation.

Likewise, any story in which a mascot is combined with an injury is an immediate must-read and is certifiably LOL-able. Every now and then, a mascot news story comes out and references both an injury and a crime (thanks, Da Bull, you rebellious scoundrel). Jackpot!

So, if you're still with me, and I hope you are, as this kind of good content is hard to come by here at Rm113, I'm about to get local with my mascot post.

If I had to select a local mascot to have injured, via a freak accident causing... oh, just for the record... say... accidental decapitation, I'd rank them in this order (major college and pro only):

1- Mr Red. He's just creepy. I love the Reds, but this mascot is a disgrace. Does anyone like him? He's scary. He's soulless. He has absolutely no charisma. Isn't he some sort of unwanted alien from another universe? If I had to "off" one mascot, he'd be the one. Without any hesitation. No one would miss him.

2- The Bearcat. Thanks to Nancy Z, this mascot's degree actually matters now. UC21 for life! Honestly, I like The Bearcat, but Nuck Fancy, so I vote him to be second worst just to spite the woman.

3- Who Dey. He's a jovial, dedicated plush tiger with just the right amount of strength. He's put up with all that losing over the years, and is still smiling. Well, smiling as much as a plush tiger can smile. Plus, he still looks kinda agressive. Fun, approachable, but still dangerous. This is what I want a pro football mascot to be.

4- D'Artagnan. He's cool. Good facial hair, period appropriate costume, dangerous weapon, menacing facial expression, and even has an apostrophe in his name. But this mascot suffers from being the 2nd coolest mascot at his school, which means he can't be too comfortable on this list.

5- Gapper. I love me some Gapper. He/she is just fun. There is an unfortunate dearth of Gapper photos on the web. It's a disgrace. We need a Gapper Fan Club. BRIAN???

6- The Blue Blob. I'm not sure it would be possible to decapitate this thing, but its resemblance to Grover alone makes this a fantastic mascot. I'm pretty sure this has to be the most kid-friendly mascot ever.

And finally, the mascot I would least want to see harmed in any way...

7- Mr Redlegs. He's the best. He's old school and mustachioed. He's baseball. He's a throwback. I'd HATE to see him injured, as he's a fantastic mascot. And he's a Red. Which means tons of sentimental points from me.

So, naturally, which mascot gets decapitated yesterday? The freaking best one (and you better click here to watch the video). It's just wrong. The Mascot God apparently took the day off. Unacceptable...
Did I miss any local mascots that need to be added to this list? Have I made any glaring mistakes in ranking these beloved creatures? Let your voice be heard!