Jesus,

I'm sorry I seem to care about you a whole lot more on Sunday mornings and in emergencies than any other time. I don't think this qualifies as an emergency, but I need you. I seem to be able to think a little better when I'm typing, which scares me, but I don't trust myself to offer you more than 10 seconds of a scatterbrained prayer in my head. I need you. I'll spare the figurative language and flashy metaphors. Just plain I need you.

I want to do better. There's a lot on my mind, as you know, and seeing as this will likely be published, how about we keep that stuff between just you and me. I confess to you right now that I don't trust you enough... I claim that I do, but my actions prove that the only person I trust is me, even though I know how untrustworthy I am.

Lord, help me to surrender. I need to let go. I need you to take over. Please help me to loosen my grip on all of this. I believe that you will carry me and not let me fall away... so help me to let go so that you can carry me. I want to lean on you all the time the way I leaned on you this past Sunday morning.

Spirit, please be near. I need your fire. I need your fire. I need your fire. I need to feel the flames. I want to burn for you. You keep telling me to let go, and I keep saying I want to... help me move, as your heat is good.

Lacking the confidence I should have,
scott