Government Cheese

I posted this over on myspace for the students... thought I'd share here as well, since this is the official home of myself.

My Thursday night small group consists of Minefield, Chronicles, The Jolly Green Giant, Suspenseful Suspenders, Wolfgang, Old School, Billy Goat. The other group is led by Poopstick and consists of Asthma Boy, Spidey, Squeegie... etc. You get the point. Nobody goes by their given name, and none of the nicknames are normal. I'd like to think it's all Poopstick's fault. After all, he seems to be the assigner of the wacky names.

I wish I knew of a good spiritual reason for why we do what we do. I mean, Jehovah God told Abram and Sarai that they were now Abraham and Sarah, Saul became Paul after his Damascus experience... but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with why Eric Bast is Poopstick. Did God reach down from heaven and say "Eric Bast, I have made you new. You shall no longer be called Eric Bast. You shall henceforth be known as Poopstick"? Maybe. Who am I to say that didn't happen?

Regardless, at a random Burger King near Nashville Indiana in January 2005, it was my time to receive my new name. Variations of Duebs-Doobie-Scooby-Dooby-Doo were discussed, when I interjected "come on guys, I've heard Duebs and Doobie and even 'hey doobie can we smoke you' for years... you've gotta come up with something better than that". Seriously, everyone else's name is like six degrees of Kevin Bacon from their real name, I'd feel jobbed if I didn't get the same treatment.

I am Government Cheese. And yes, the church students gave me a nickname with marijuana overtones. And no, I've still never smoked weed. And the guys who named me haven't either. Someone in the group remembered Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker, the old SNL skit featuring Chris Farley.

Scott Duebber ---> prounounced DOO-burr ---> abbreviated to Doobie ---> "smokin' doobies" ---> Matt Foley: "If you keep smokin' doobies, you're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and living in a van down by the river."

And the rest, as they say, is history.