Vital Tobe Stats

I love statistics. My appreciation for them began while scanning baseball boxscores in the morning Enquirer as an elementary school lad. Stats was my favorite class in college (and was also the best class I ever took with official Rm113 reader Neil Banta). My wife doesn't share my same passion for stats, but I'm pretty sure that's mainly due to fantasy baseball destroying our marriage.

Speaking of fantasy baseball... it's probably about time to start studying up and thinking draft strategy... but that's another post for another time. Back to the task at hand, as of birthday #1, here are The Tobe's 1-year statistics:

• He's a 26-pound-12-ounce hulkster, placing him in the 95th percentile for his age.
  
• He's almost 30 inches tall, or wide, or long, or whatever, putting him in the 55th percentile.
  
• He has 8 teeth, which has gotta be more than average. The chompers are just freaking everywhere. All the better to eat you with, my pretty. Ain't no way I'm sticking my finger in his mouth. If he's choking, I'm letting the poor kid go, cause who wants to go through life without fingers?
• He remains stuck on just 1 word, "cat", which he uses when wanting to discuss cats, cows, food, people, the war in Iraq, antidisestablishmentarianism, the arts, and the Christian faith. We're still waiting on just plain "dada". I'm ready to cheer (and melt) when I hear it.
• He has approximately 10 hairs on his head, all of which are on the back of his head, in between his ears. All 10 hairs are appoximately 3 feet long, which makes him look really silly.
• I cannot remember the circumference of his noggin, but it is literally off-the-charts. 99th+ percentile. His legs are unbelievably strong, but with a planet attached to his neck, it's no wonder why he isn't walking yet.