There's this guy at work... who thinks that he's an expert when it comes to... everything. He asked alot of questions about the birth, and I answered candidly the best I could. I won't even go into all of the ridiculous things he said, but I will share the one that made me walk away from the guy. One of the things I said was "he's a cool kid." Sounds like a fair thing for a proud papa to say, right? His response... dead serious... he looks me in the eyes... and says to me in a disapproving tone... "Scott, you have a child. You do not have a baby goat." What's a guy to say in response to that? "Congratulations, you are the Room 113 Chach of the Day"? Nah, end of conversation. I quit.
Anyway, on to the report from the pediatrician today: my baby goat is fat. Apparently, newborns are supposed to gain an ounce per week or more at this point... correct me if you know otherwise, I'm new at this. He gained 12 ounces this week. That's 1200% of the minimum suggested weight gain. So far, he's taking after his daddy, except I don't hang out with lots of fluffy bears...
5 comments:
Scott,
Aly weighed 3 lbs. 2 oz. at birth and was 17" long. She's now up to about 19 and a half pounds and about 27". At this rate, she'll be up over 25,000 lbs. and 16 and a half feet tall... WHEN SHE'S 5!!!
So, I don't know what my point is in all this and I know Toby is growing at an incredible rate, but don't believe the hype.
Scott, if you wanna call your kid a goat, you call him a goat! However, I thought he was a polar bear.... but hey!
As Toby's mother, in Toby's defense, I would just like to state, for the record, that the pediatrician did NOT say that Toby is "fat". She said that he is gaining weight REALLY WELL. And might I also add that she said that he is amazingly strong!
Anyway, Toby and I have had to work really hard to get him that...ummm..."healthy".
scott: in your experience so far, would it be more awesome to have a baby goat or a human boy?
Mother of Goat-- Agreed... he's not fat... he's just gaining weight very well... yes. Our son rocks. He just looks fat in some of the pictures. And he makes fantastic barnyard animal noises all night long.
Justin-- Without hesitation, I'll take my baby goat named Toby over any human boy that has ever existed. Except maybe Webster. Don't you think it would be fun to have Webster around? Tons of people have baby humans, but how many people get to have baby goats? I rest my case.
(And if my wife and I were to adopt Webster, would I have to grow a sweet 'stache and would Robyn have to get a man haircut? These are the questions that keep me up at night...)
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