Affirmation

I am very thankful for the person who recommended I read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I think it was Bill Haley, but quite honestly, I don't remember. (Details like this are always fuzzy to me.)

The book completely revolutionized the way I see loving and being loved. It is no doubt one of the most influential books I've ever read. (In fact, I think I read almost all of the first 3 chapters. Very rarely do I even open a book, let alone read more than the introduction. The fact that I completed multiple chapters of this book proves how significant I found it to be.)

I try not to categorize people, in fear of mentally pigeonholing them into a bucket that may or may not exist, but it's very important for me to know what my primary languages are, as well as the languages of my wife. (I'm trying to work on loving in Toby's language as well, as his natural language preferences are establishing before my very eyes.)

Per the offical website of the book, in regard to people like me:

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

The website goes on to say, "to learn more about this Love Language, take a good look at Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages", but let me save you some time, as I am an expert on myself: you don't need to read the book. (I didn't.) That description says it all. Understand that, implement it, and I'll be on Cloud Nine for months and possibly years. They'll have to re-do all the Red Bull commercials and just film a cartoon version of me floating giddily through the cartoon sky muttering "words of affirmation give me wings... hee heeeeeeeee...".

The other night, I got to share much of my biography-to-date with a group of friends. After sharing my story, as is the tradition of the group, every person had to pick one word that describes the speaker, as best they can. The goal is to be honest, not just tell the speaker what is desired to be heard:

"Passionate". "Authentic". "Meek". "Seeking". "Forgiven".

Wow. Thank you. You made my week. I'm good for at least a few days.