I would like to begin this post by boldly confessing that I am a sinner. Big time. If thinking bad thoughts is the same as acting them out, then I am a murderer, an adulterer, a theif, etc. Now that my confession is out of the way, I'm going to reluctantly share some thoughts from last Thursday. 'Reluctantly' because these thoughts are angry and about a man I do not personally even know, yet I know of the massive log in my own eye... Maybe someone can help me reconcile these thoughts... read on if you care...
I'm currently reading through Every Young Man's Battle again, as I'm leading a small group of high school guys. I read Every Man's Battle at age 19 when I decided I wanted to get serious about the sexual sin that was slowly killing me. (EYMB is EMB re-written specifically for younger single guys, as much of EMB assumes marriage.) The material is as fresh as ever... I don't think I'll ever get to a point where I won't need a refresher course in purity.
For the first time in a long time, I flipped on Steve Arterburn's (co-author) radio show the other day. He is a therapist, and has a daily show. Early in the broadcast, he mentioned his wife being pregnant. I thought I remembered hearing recently that he was divorced from his wife of 20 years... some quick googling brought out the following facts about the last couple years that infuriated me:
- After 20 years of marriage (during which the huge majority of his counseling books were written), his second marriage ended in divorce (in 2004)
- In 2005, he married his third wife ("a fresh-faced blond knockout" whom an interviewer assumed was his daughter) whom he met at one of his seminars
- He agreed to be interviewed for an article on abstinence in GQ magazine
- He continues to write Christian self-help counseling books
- He continues to offer Christian counseling on a daily national radio show
- He continues to live in a beach-front home in Laguna Beach
I know that forgiveness is very real, and he claims he did everything he could to save the second marriage. I know the Bible is full of examples of God using people who screwed up big in big ways. I personally know several men whose marriages failed at least partly due to them putting "ministry" ahead of family on their org chart.
It ticks me off when I hear of Christians divorcing. I know that we are all imperfect, but it still ticks me off. I just know that if either of my pastors lived Arterburn's life over the last few years, they'd at the very least be asked to take some time off. They'd probably be told to take a break and get their life together. He sure didn't wait very long after trying to save the second wife to move on. Maybe Arterburn should have read his own books again before marrying a hot young blond.
Oh yeah... considering the beachfront home in Laguna Beach, I'm guessing the radio show and the book deals helped him make a few bucks over the years. Don't really know why this part bothers me, but it does. And couldn't he have predicted that the only reason GQ wanted to interview him was to continue its pursuit of making fun of Christianity? Cause that's what happened...
I wonder how he'd counsel himself if he called into his own radio show.
EYMB is a good resource for young men. I hope I teach these high school guys well. But I think I'm gonna pass on any other Arterburn books... I'll stick to the Bible and authors like John Piper.
I'm angry about this, but I'm trying not to be... Thoughts? Help!
2 comments:
I've slowly started to move away from christian books. they have a tendency to just piss me off. kind of like historical fiction books. not saying that the two are alike, but they just both piss me off a lot. that's the only way they're similar.
my advice, try comic books. they're better and they do a better job of stimulating your imagination.
then you can move back into your parents basement and never see the light of day again.
now that's livin.
nod. i have only found a few "christian" books that tell me something i don't already know. this is not to say i know everything about following Jesus - i know spit - but i also know that the answer to all of my questions about faith boils down, eventually, to 'grow closer to Jesus by spending more time with him'. done. every spiritual self-help book in existence can (or should, IMHO) be summarized exactly so. at least for me, because people telling me what to do never seems to help my situation out.
re: the divorce thing, i can't imagine many scenarios that would have me thinking i want to be apart from renee, but i'm one year in. i guess until i've been in a place where i'm challenged with whether or not to pursue divorce and i actually comprehend that set of circumstances, i can't really point any fingers. i know that it's never necessary, and It Is Written and so forth, but i know that none of my sin is necessary, and i have heaping piles of it around.
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