Father's Day

My first Father's Day was mostly very good. Being a dad has been such a joy so far. I don't know exactly what I was expecting fatherhood to be like, but I know that the reality of it is not what I expected. I know I was expecting to be afraid to drop him or hurt him. I know I was expecting to have no idea how to do any of the Daddy stuff. Fatherhood is not necessarily better or worse than I expected, it's just different... and really good. (The same holds true for marriage.) Life, in general, is really different... and really good.

All day long, folks at church and family members have been saying "Happy Father's Day" to me, and it's been great to think about how wonderful Toby has been. I've said it many times, and I'll say it many more- I'm blown away at how much love can be had for a little guy. He can't talk, he can't walk, he can't really do all that much yet, but I love him more than anyone in this world except for Robyn. It's a crazy thing, the love that God gives us for our children.

I've been somewhat of an emotional wreck lately. I'm so thankful for my wife and the life that we have together. I can't imagine life without her. God has been so good to me in so many ways. (Emotional example... Tears are probably not appropriate at a Nascar race, but there I was, the watery-eyed one, listening to sappy country music. Lonestar was playing a song that I know Robyn likes... it's a very pro-family song about a husband and his love for his wife and kids... and I got to thinking about how blessed I am to have Robyn and Toby and just about lost my composure. Surely there is a Man Law out there forbidding such behavior.)

My wife and son gave me the best Father's Day they could give. Some dadstuff just isn't in her control. Some dynamics will probably never change. I'm still very thankful for all the aforementioned, but some dadstuff is just hard.