Middle of the Night Potty Break

(If you are turned off by potty humor, stop reading now. You've been warned. Now that I've got your attention...)

Guys, you know how disoriented you sometimes feel during a middle-of-the-night urination, right? Your eyes aren't completely open, you're not entirely awake, and you're not all-that-confident in your ability to aim well. You know how going #1 in the can is supposed to sound, and you're half-expecing instead to hear the ambience of a steady stream of liquid hitting the porcelain rim. Does this make sense? Am I the only one who thinks this? You all understand me, don't you?

Anyone who has visited our house knows that Sesame (our wonderfully quirky longhaired cat) doesn't like to be left outside the bathroom whenever anyone enters it. We don't really know why she likes to be with us in the bathroom, but we don't question it too much, either.

At some point today in the early morning hours, the fine feline followed me in, and I was in the situation described above. As I began to go, I immediately heard the dreaded sound of wet porcelain. Needing to quickly correct this potentially very messy situation, and thinking that I was erring on the back rim of the toilet, I promptly adjusted downward.

Fortunately, the porcelain sound was no more. Unfortunately, I was now missing the toilet completely. Fortunately, even though I was missing the toilet completely, I was not going on the floor. Unfortunately, I was peeing on the cat.

The cat was verrrrrrrrry unhappy about this chain of events. Yes, in the middle of the night, I peed on my cat. I think. I never fully awoke, so the hilarity of this sequence of happenings is still setting in.

The cat was not amused. My wife, however, thinks this is the funniest story ever. I think I agree with my wife.