I'm a sucker for awesome amateur musical talent. Especially awesome young vocalists. My confession this evening is that I watched as much American Idol as I could last season. I don't love the show... I think Seacrest is a chach... I hate all the fake reality-TV drama and ill-timed commercial breaks... but I was all about the singers. (And I think I developed a non-sexual crush on Nadia's 'fro, but that's beside the point.)
But other than Idol, I am very much not a fan of reality-TV. I think it reflects very poorly that folks can become celebrities simply for NO APPARANT REASON WHATSOEVER. Let's take Ryan Cabrera, for example. I've only heard his one "hit" song, so I know very little about him. He might be very talented. But, to the best of my knowledge, he's not famous because of his talent. Allow me to explain what I shall henceforth refer to as "The Ryan Cabrera Hypothesis", which will be laid out through a series of observations:
--Jessica Simpson becomes marginally famous as a teenybopper singer with big boobs
--MTV offers Jessica and said boobs a reality TV show
--Audience notices her complete lack of brains and decides the stupid big-boobed woman is hilarious
--Show is a resounding success, thousands and thousands of weirdos tune in weekly
--Audience notices Jessica has a little sister named Ashlee
--Ashlee becomes popular, apparantly due to her sister's stupidity and large boobs
--Ashlee becomes marginally famous as the singer who's stupid sister has big boobs
--Ashlee gets her own reality show, apparently due to her successful career based upon being the sister of the dumb blond with big boobs
--Audience is fascinated with the life of the sister of the dumb blond with the... you get the point...
--Audience notices Ashlee has a boyfriend, his name is Ryan Cabrera
--Ryan, obviously deserving of a record contract based upon his history of dating the sister of the dumb blond with big boobs, signs with a major label
--Ryan Cabrera releases an album
--First single off Cabrera's first album is a success with teens, due to... you know...
So, as far as I can tell, one way to acquire fame in this world of ours is to date the sister of someone who got famous because of her dearth of brains and abundance of boobs. I feel good about this culture that is ours.
This is why I have no problem with The Joe Millionaire style of reality TV. People sign up for a reality show hoping for riches and fame. But instead of fame, they receive humiliation. So when I saw this link, I decided that these attention-hungry punks that want to make a living simply by being famous for fame's sake deserve to be laughed at if they fall for the old 'fake trip to space' trick.
Rant over. Bedtime...
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4 comments:
you have correctly mapped the process to becoming a successful 21st century celebrity. you did leave off the 'fast forward five years' part where no one has any idea who you this 'cabrera' kid is...
who wants to start a pool on when reality TV falls off the map? i'm gonna say 2011.
The search is on for Anna Nicole's Smith sister. Sad note: I spent an hour last night watching an ABC Primetime report on Anna's icky marriage to an 80-year old billionaire. She is the epitome of the unfortunate reality TV syndrome.
although you made a good point...where does shane and shane fit in? check ryan's links list.
Justin, I predict sooner...
Steve, sad is the correct word...
Brooke, I was just making a generalization. He may be supremely talented and a total stud of a human being. But I'm guessing he isn't famous without Jessica's... well, you know.
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