Pain and What Comes From It

My friend (from the last post) got me thinking alot about the painful moments in my past. From my experience, the most painful times in my life left me feeling abandoned and lonely.

During my high school years, there were 3 men who I considered to be my spiritual fathers. I dreamt of being like them someday... you know, when I grow up, I want to be just like them... Suddenly, at age 18, when I was trying to figure out what it really looked like to be a godly man, all 3 of their marriages failed, and in all 3 instances it was their fault.

What the hell?! These are the guys I look up to... these are the guys that have been showing my how to live! How do I go on, now that these guys have proven to be so broken, so... human? In the moment, there's no way I could possibly say that I was thankful for the pain. The loneliness and confusion was excruciatingly sucky.

But now, 10 years later, I can see some good from the situations. Am I glad these 3 men wound up divorced from their wives? Am I glad that these 3 fathers must have custody resolutions with their children? Absolutely not. And yet, I see lessons I'm thankful I learned at a critical time in my life. At a transitional time, I saw the destruction that comes with pride and contentment. And I knew, right then, that my life was not allowed to go that way.

So, to my friend from the other post... I know it is absolutely not helpful in any way for me to say "well, someday, as hard as it may seem right now, you'll see some reasons why God is allowing you to suffer like this..." Just punch me in the face!

But in all honesty, hindsight has a way of shining a light on the hidden blessings that can only be obtained through suffering. I wish I could fix it for you. I wish there was a magic wand that could miraculously make it all better. Persevere, my friend. Please, don't quit. I know it's a difficult time to walk, but I promise you... you will not walk alone. I'll walk with you. We'll get through it together.