(I wrote the majority of this post last week. Since writing it, I have read similar thoughts here and here. Dang. I could have been first if I didn't want to proofread.)
Late in my college career, I took a college course in which I learned about societies around the world, particularly their consumption and their relational qualities. (Mike Warnock, if you remember the name of the class we took, please comment.) One of the themes was that the middle-class folks' move to the suburbs has such a devastating affect on inner cities. While, in my head, I still make fun of one of the nuns who taught the course, it was probably one of the most eye-opening classes I've ever taken.
Before getting married, Robyn and I chose to live "in the city" instead of buying a house in the 'burbs. We both wanted an old home that had charm. We wanted to be at least 20 minutes from our parents. We picked a house built in the year 1900 on a street that is officially "urban" but currently feels a lot like the upper-middle-class suburbia we were so used to. Essentially, we have a charming old victorian home on a nice little postage-stamp yard. We have trees in our yard. And we get to live on the Metro route and hear sirens at all hours of the day. College Hill feels like both an inner city and a suburb.
I write all of this to say that we've been "in the city" for 3 years now and have yet to "make a difference". Sure, we've added value to an old home that was in poor shape when we bought it. Sure, we've made surface-level friendships with our (caucasian) neighbors. Other than that? Not much...
I grew up in a very white neighborhood and I have had to work hard at eliminating the racial biases I developed over the years of only seeing black folks getting arrested on the 6:00 news. Toby McKeehan is one of my favorite artists, and my falling in love with many of his songs directly coincided with much of my racial healing. And yet, in spite of all the progress made in my heart, I have yet to forge a friendship with someone in this city that doesn't look like me.
Part of our decision to move to College Hill was due to the fact that we wanted to live in an area that more accurately represents the world: diverse. Also, for Toby (not named after McKeehan) and future little Duebbers, we don't want them to grow up in white suburbia. But I fear that he will see our actions (sleeping in the city, driving to the suburbs for church and friends) and wonder why we even bother to live in an "urban" area when everything we do happens in the suburbs.
When Echo started, I was hoping it could be our chance to get plugged in to an inner-city community. Hearing Larry and Aaron talk about their experiences (and reading about Steve's) reminds me that this world is much bigger than just my own family and homestead. How do I explain this desire to make a difference in the inner city when I work in an office with all white suburbanites, go to church with almost all white suburbanites, and have almost all white suburbanite friends?
Where do I go from here? I don't want to pass on to my son the racial biases I worked so hard to get rid of. It’s not like I can just walk up to a random black person and say “Hi, I’m white, you’re not, wanna be my friend?” I still feel like a white man in a white man’s world. Thoughts?
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2 comments:
I can totally relate to your feelings. Even though we are living in Walnut Hills, I still haven't formed a ton of diverse friendships yet -- and I've had that burden on my heart for quite a while. I pray about it, asking God what He wants to do with this burden I feel. I figure He will guide me in His timing if I will listen.
I affirm what you say here. I don't know that my presence in the city means much by itself, no less because I live in a leafy, 50-year-old neighborhood populated with aging German Catholics and upwardly mobile African- and Asian-Americans, plus a smattering of prosperous immigrants. And the mayor and his parents, for that matter. This is Beaver Cleaver's neighborhood, with a little more color.
Truth is, I live in the city mostly because I like it and I can afford it. I'm closer to work, have big trees to look at, and don't deal with traffic.
But I had my shots at things that I'd miss otherwise, like helping kids in my kids' schools who need help. I guess that's some difference. And to the people I know of other ethnicities, it seems to matter that I haven't run to a homogeneous enclave beyond the city's borders.
This is really small stuff. But I'll try to stay open to bigger stuff all the while, and enjoy walking around the corner to the hardware store too.
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