Happy New Year

Less than 12 hours until 2006. That's pretty wild. It was a very good year. This last week of 2005 has been a blur.

Did someone say "tax deduction"? This gives me some incentive to file that 1040 ASAP--there will be money coming back thanks to Toby being obedient and deciding to be born before next year. Good thing, too. There hasn't been a time in Robyn's or my life when we've needed a financial break more than right now.

So, 3 cheers and a tax deduction for Toby. Hip, hip... hooray. --$$$$$$$$$--

(I love God, I love my son, I don't love money. But it's tight right now... hopefully we can pay down some debt in the next couple months. I'm very uncomfortable with owing people money right now. And I want to be stashing money away for that rainy day everyone talks about.)

To be honest, I almost feel guilty how often I thought about that tax break. I think I would've been disappointed if he wasn't born until next year. I mean, I am an accountant, and money's tight, so I have an excuse for wanting him born soon other than just my wife being uncomfortable being prego.

We were talking last night about we didn't put much stock into what everyone said throughout the pregnancy. All the ultrasounds said he would be huge, but we didn't really care--ultrasounds are just technology, they aren't gospel, they're flawed and often wrong. In addition to size, ultrasound also showed us a spot on his heart that the doc was concerned about for a while, which certainly scared us, but we knew it was either a mistaken reading or something that God could fix--seriously, it was either something that wasn't real, or it was something within God's control--what else is there? Also, everyone talks about the due date and how first-time moms usually go 10 days late... but isn't a due date just a statistical thing?

We cannot place our trust in technology. We must commit ourselves and our spirits solely to the Living God, in whom all things are in control. We were affected by all of these things, but we tried our best to remember and acknowledge that none of these things were within our control. We had two options when faced with all of the aforementioned things: (1) worry worry worry ourselves sick, or (2) give it up and trust that God is going to take care of us just like he promised he always would.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to not have faith and trust in Christ. I'd like to think that I'd be saying all of these things even if something had gone terribly wrong. I think I would. I hope not to find out, but I think I would. But I've written about that in the past... How lonely would I feel if I were dependent on my friends and family and myself and my career and my country to make me happy and give me my self-worth? None of those things are constant. I need Christ. He is my rock, my solid place on which I stand.