Working Hard

I think that God has given me many talents, yet I've done so little to cultivate them. He blessed me with intelligence... I responded by skating through high school and college, studying only when necessary. He blessed me with musical abilities... I responded by refusing good instruction and simply playing what I wanted, when I wanted. He blessed me by calling me into a relationship with Him... I responded by continuing a life of sin and resisting the Spirit.

I fight things of worth by devoting my time to worthless things. I'm pretty much the man when it comes to wasting time, all the while staying busy enough to make it appear my schedule is jam-packed with worthy work. Granted, my life isn't completely full of junk... I lead a high school guys small group, I lead a ministry at the church, and I hope my wife would say I'm a decent husband and father. But there is so much wasted potential in me.

How much better could my marriage and parenting be if I leaned more on Christ and gave more time and love to Robyn and The Tobe? How much better would my church ministries be if I prepared more diligently and stopped throwing things together last minute? And how much more valuable would I be as an employee if I worked harder instead of simply getting the minimum done?

I have my own office at work, complete with walls and a door and windows. Co-workers walk by my desk and have no idea whether the computer screen I'm staring at contains an analysis of raw material inventory or ESPN.com. Nobody can tell whether I'm typing diligently to meet a corporate deadline or if I'm feverishly posting my opinions about the Reds' bullpen woes on an online sports forum.

I'll work hard for a day, then I'll skate for a day. The job always gets done, but I could be so much more valuable as an employee. How much stress could I take away from my boss if I got my stuff done and took some of his tasks of lesser importance? How much money could I save my company if I dove into the books to find ways to save costs?

Hmmm... I think I better check the newssites just to make sure Israel still exists... Yep, Israel is still there... I wonder if there's a new post on the Bengals' messageboard... Nope... nothing new yet... what about my fantasy teams... I wonder if anybody posted on that messageboard... while I'm at it, let's check the blogroll and see if anyone has posted since I last checked... yep, Steve Carr has 59 posts since 9am! I think I'll read them all now...

A phone call rocked my world this past Wednesday after lunch. Called out. Convicted. I can't continue down this path. Enough. This is a wasted life. Surely, God wants more from me than this. Who could be proud of such a life?

Alt+Tab should be a useful tool, not a coverup. I haven't visited a non-work website since Wednesday afternoon. The radio has been either off or lightly on FM. I didn't hear about the big Reds-Nationals trade until after I left my office Thursday. It's amazing how much more I've accomplished from 8-5 these last few days. It's amazing how good it feels to work hard.

So how long do I have to keep this up before these thoughts slow down? I wonder if they miss me on the messageboards... I hope Callahan isn't offended that I haven't commented on his blog in the last week...