Back in May, I was told that I needed to get a passport because I'd be going to Europe on business before the end of the year. Well, the time has come...
Our Euro-employees dress professionally - we're used to business-casual here in the States - and I didn't think I had a week's worth of "good enough" threads. After looking in my closet, I decided that I needed a couple new pairs of slacks. I don't do a whole lot of wardrobe purchasing, and when I do, I typically buy clearance stuff, so I was shocked to see the high prices on the pants I wanted.
So I settled for a lesser-name brand that was on sale... It took me over an hour to finally figure out what I wanted... and when I got to the register, everything rang up full price, and the completely inept cashier wasn't interested in helping. I ended up buying nothing. It was such a draining time.
When I got home, I called their customer service because I wanted to bitch about it, and Robyn didn't need to be the recipient of such a one-sided conversation. I got a recorded message saying they were sorry about the long wait I was about to endure and that I should probably just call back later.
No problem, I can bitch via email... so I hit up the website, typed my diatribe, clicked send, and was told they were experiencing server problems, please try again later... Sheesh. I can't buy the pants that I need, AND they won't let me whine about it.
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I've written much in the past about wanting to be fiscally responsible. I feel really guilty about buying certain non-essentials, just knowing that there are so many people in this world who don't have enough. I'm a music guy, and I haven't had an iPod for the last year and a half, because I feel too guilty spending the money on something that is obviously a luxury. I'm sometimes embarassed to drive a 13-year-old Buick, but I'd feel too guilty buying something nicer when the trusty Pimp Boat gets me from A to B just fine.
I've been able to get separation from that guilt while rehabbing the house. We didn't need a new stove, but everything else in the kitchen was going to be new, so I convinced Robyn to buy a new stove. We didn't need new dishes, but the old blue plates just wouldn't have looked right in the new kitchen or dining room, so I convinced Robyn to buy a new set. Woot.com was selling Zune mp3 players for $100, and I've been wanting a player for sooooooooooo long, so I splurged and bought one.
But that tightwad feeling is coming back with a vengeance. It started last week, possibly prompted by much listening to Share The Well, a Caedmon's Call album. Then the Osteen discussion picked up over the weekend, reminding me of how much I despise that extravagant lifestyle. Then I found out my new furnace is going to be a LOT more expensive than I previously thought. Then, at Kenwood Mall during my lunch break, I asked myself if these elusive new pairs of pants were really needs.
Needless to say, I left Kenwood with only the pants I was already wearing, which, who am I kidding, the Euros will just have to deal with. I also decided that the dollar menu at McDonald's was too expensive, at least for today, when there is a loaf of bread in my office.
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It's been said that once values are compromised, it's hard to go back. The recovering alcoholic who suffers a relapse thinks "ah, what the heck, there goes my sobriety, I might as well mess up big". The couple saving sex for marriage does it one night and it surely won't be the last before the wedding. "Just this once..." can quickly become a habit.
I've become this way with money over the last couple months. "Let's just hit up a restaurant tonight, don't worry about making dinner", then the next night, etc. "I've been so patient without an iPod for the last year", beginning the justification process. "I deserve this..."
Osteen makes me sick to my stomach. Seeing a "shepherd" preaching a bogus gospel in a jam-packed $100 million arena literally makes me want to throw up, because I love the true gospel, and I don't want anyone to fall for his crap.
And yet, when I spend on things that aren't necessary, I feel like a mini-Osteen, worshipping these trinkets as if they gave life. No, I may not be verbally telling others that God wants them to have material wealth or expensive toys, but you get my point.
Plus, if I had saved a little more and spent a little less, I'd be a lot less concerned about where to get the cash to heat my house this winter.
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5 comments:
Totally got this post and even can say we are right there with ya. We do not have a LOT of things others just go out and buy without thinking about it. But this is the first time in our married life we committed to 10% to God. Not just church but other Christian and serving orginizations who could use it more then us and a new TV or living room set. I'm glad to see others think like we do! Amen Dude
I think the mp3 player could be considered a business expense for your church job. It's an important job you do leading us in worship and makes an impact for God. Also, listening to music can be spiritual in nature so it's an investment that way. You're far from living extravagantly. You're doing a good job. Keep finding ways you can save and give but let go of some of that guilt friend. It's o.k. to buy new pants and new stoves sometimes.
i didn't know anything about that Osteen dude - i'd heard of him, but had no idea the guy was as misguided as he was.
we Americans certainly love to swallow that self-empowerment crap...
just don't wear underwear. it makes your pants feel totally different. i haven't worn undies since 1989.
plus, you know those euros aren't wearing them, so you'll fit right in.
what part of europe are you going to? tell me its former soviet!!!
I'm with Jennifer,...the mp3/ipod is good for all the right reasons...lightin up and spring for a pair of britches...lose the guilt and make a decent show for the Euros. And B-Call must like that free and easy feeling. No undies! That'll end once you hit your 50's,...trust me.
Dan W
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